I chose this photo to post in celebrating the birthday of my son because this moment in our lives mark another pivotal moment. Arie had never had a haircut..he was born with so much hair..a nice afro – it was so full it looked like a wig! Both of my children have a lot of hair. Lauren’s was in the middle of her back by age 4…same thing people would ask ‘is she wearing a wig?’ For the record..it isn’t true people of color..black people don’t grow hair.
I’d seen one boy with locks and thought it would be cool to do that to Arie’s hair. I started him with braids and then began the locking process. His locks received so much attention..strangers would want to touch it, cue Solange Knowles ‘Don’t Touch My Hair” because it is odd when strangers want to touch your hair, and even more a child. Arie would occasionally be teased by students..’do you wash it?’ Of course – it’s hair!
By the end of junior high, he’d had enough and I’d see them around the house. “What are you doing to your locks?” Arie was slowly cutting them – he was over them. He played AAU basketball and wanted to look more collegiate he said. I could tell he was ready for a change. There are moments in our lives no matter how young or old we are..change becomes necessary. We feel it, we know it. The thing is to embrace change – don’t fight it.
Cutting his hair prior to the start of high school was probably more emotional for me. Hair carries a lot of energy and I was so accustomed to seeing his lion mane. I saved some of them in a ziplock and then made an appointment for his first trip to the barbershop.
From that point, it seems time really flew as he became a young man..junior varsity and varsity hoopster..then college student off to NYC. His interest is business and finance. Arie is a hard worker too. Instilling a strong work ethic in both is something to be proud of.
We have to allow our children to grow and be who they want to be while giving them the proper tools and foundation while raising them. Cherish the moments at each stage, time goes fast.
I love both my children more than words can convey. Being their Mom is the jewel of my life. Keeps me grounded..even though they no longer live at home. I value our relationship, and the fact they keep teaching me things too.
I still can’t believe Arie can grow a beard!
Happy Birthday Arie!! I love you beyond the unigalagalala-unigalaxy!
My son Arie celebrated his 22nd birthday October 17. It’s always a time of celebration and reflection for me, as his Mom as well. Away from the spotlight, my priority when they were growing up was to be present in their lives. I’m still present and involved though that role has changed an morphed into something different since both are young adults now. It’s not easy to be the child of someone the public knows. I’ve shielded them from the public wanting them to maintain their anonymity, keep them grounded, validated and confident in who they are. However, I’m like most proud Mom’s – sometimes you just want to brag a bit of how awesome your children are and how much you love them. I asked his permission before posting to ask if it was OK for me to share on my social media pages – he said yes. He is the best son in the world. I’m so proud of how responsible and solid of a young man he is, loving, kind hearted, funny, hard working, intelligent and handsome of course. I miss his presence being home – but proud that he is in college in New York studying business laying the groundwork to fulfill his ambitions, dreams and personal happiness in a city he’s always loved. He’s also held a part time job since high school – which is something instilled in both children, a strong work ethic. I miss dressing up for Halloween, playing action heroes, and so much more from when he was little – my favorite guy in the world. I don’t miss getting him off of World of Warcraft to do homework in junior high! Now, we FaceTime, text, share funny memes, and talk nearly every day. I cherish our relationship and bond. I am inspired by my son Arie and my daughter Lauren.
Here’s to Arie – the best son in the universe!! I was there for his 21st (pictured in collage) and can’t wait to see him next week when I travel to New York for a visit and belated birthday celebration.
Heavy on my mind..and every time no matter where I am, I know I’ll view these signs differently.
Most neighborhoods have “Neighborhood Watch” – never told to pursue, become a vigilante, follow, stalk, confront and so forth. Call the police and wait for them to arrive if you see something truly suspicious or threatening. If ignoring what you’re told, wouldn’t you let a person know “I’m neighborhood watch, my name is…” but it should never get to that point. My son has always loved to walk and go out in the rain. To even consider such a simple act could be considered suspicious shakes me to the core. This Zimmerman trial – any case with senseless violence and someone loses their life is tragic-but this case highlights many underlying troubling issues. I remember learning growing up as well, if you go looking for trouble – you will probably find it. Zimmerman should have stayed in his car – it’s my opinion – and waited for police, but he chose not to do that.
Preconceived notions are never good. There’s nothing suspect about a kid walking home from the store, in the rain at 7 PM on the phone talking to a friend in a “nice” neighborhood where it may be assumed one doesn’t ‘belong’ — or elsewhere for that matter.
I am praying for justice for Trayvon Martin and his family, although nothing will change the fact that he was shot dead – in the heart, while walking home in the rain from the store on an early Sunday evening.
I’ve been married – and it ended in a turbulent divorce of staggering heartbreaking disappointment, heartache and pain.
That said, at least I was able to have that experience with my ex-husband and decide for myself if I’m ever inclined again. I came away with believing more in the importance of integrity, honesty, respect, and commitment in a relationship more than ‘marriage.’ My fantasy was left tattered and in shreds. Same sex couples can and are committed for decades and then not have a legal right to your partner among other things; which is what it comes down to if it doesn’t work out. This is a civil rights issue, not a religious one, as I feel those things are personal to each of us. There are great and important issues impacting society that need attention more than trying to stop people who love each other from getting married and able to celebrate, share and honor the commitment of their chosen ‘real love‘ with their family and friends.
I’m for marriage equality and have been a long time advocate for gay rights. Two cases were being heard in the Supreme Court today, though they may be wary of making a ruling according to media reports such as Reuters.
The quality, sanctity and vows of marriage are violated everyday whether same sex couples marry or not for those who use religion as an argument.
Let the people be free to love and get married if they choose and who they choose.